winter rose

After suffering a week of arctic conditions which required long underwear, jeans, multiple sweaters, gloves and mittens, wool socks, a hat, etc. Minnesota has finally broken above zero and even got some snow! It started pelting down yesterday after church in huge fat pieces of ice before the temperature settled right below freezing and the ice turned into wonderful, fluffy flakes. Ah, this is what I like about winter. The -24°F windchill, no thanks! But I'll take right around freezing with snow. In celebration, I wore stockings, a skirt, and only one sweater! That hasn't happened in a bit. I also got to wear my new, lightweight jacket:   I picked up the jacket from the second hand shop a few weeks ago. Banana Republic for something like $7! What a steal. It's divine - masculine, well tailored, and rather sleek. I feel rather French and laid-back-chic when I wear it.   The skirt is something I scooped up from ModCloth a few months ago in the sale section, thinking that it would be perfect for winter months. The sweater is Eddie Bauer and the shoes are Steve Madden. Oh, I'm also carrying my camera bag here (of which the zipper pulls all broke off and I am now using bobby pins).   It's been a long time since I've blogged. I feel like the beginning of the year is always unsettling and about making all these new adjustments, balancing new things. I'd apologise, but I also feel like I don't need to apologise for living life and trying to adjust to all these new bumps along the way. Some things are good, some things are tough and need to be worked through.   I did discover one rather happy little piece today - I can graduate next Fall! After adding up my credits and seeing what I still need, I realised that I need roughly 21 more credits. I have my fingers crossed to go on a study abroad trip to Paris for May Term where I can study Gothic Architecture and knock off 4 credits of my design minor, which would put me down to just 17 credits for the Fall semester! I know it won't exactly be a fun semester, since I'd be looking at pulling a load between 17 - 20 credits, but it would be worth it not to have to do spring semester.   Since I am ecstatic about this and very excited to finally see an end to my days at uni in sight, I created a list of some "goals" for 2013. Among them:   1) Sew a quilt 2) Learn to drive/obtain license 3) Find a new job 4) Read all of Fitzgerald's full-length works   I imagine that more will be added to that list in the coming months! The above were things that I planned to do in 2014 (esp. learn to drive and find a new job) but since I now realise that a 2013 grad date might be in sight, I should get a start on them now! I love having direction in my life. But now, I must focus on university...and the 17 credits that I've just started there for this semester!   Momo is terribly sick and not eating much. He's going to the vet this week to get scoped but since his protein levels are so low, they're worried that there might be complications. Please keep my little baby in your prayers! I can't even fathom how awful it would be for anything to happen. He's been there for me since I was 10. He's my best companion.   Keep warm loves xx

cute animals + Peanuts!

Classes began last Tuesday and it's taking me a while to get into the swing of things. Add on to that -12°F/-24°C outside (let's not even think about with windchill!) and so I am positively an icicle. Since I'm exhausted and not quite feeling well right now, here are some cute animals and the Peanuts gang. They make everything better, don't they?

 

A Note on Boys

 

I love when people leave me comments or send me emails. I read them all and take them all to heart. I especially enjoy when people point out flaws or bring up further curiosities in my thought processes. So when I recieved a comment on the last post asking if I was perhaps a tad hostile towards men (while also being a feminist and a Christian), I suddenly became fearful that maybe I do come off as hostile towards males - or that maybe I am a tad hostile towards them? I think that this question came as a response to me referring to an ex as a "fuckwit rubbish boyfriend." I thought I'd clear a few things up and maybe explain my stance on boys vs. girls vs. society. Boys and men will be used interchangably.

 

First off, I have every reason to be hostile towards certain boys. Not all boys, of course, but certain ones, yes. I've been pushed around by boys. I've been in abusive relationships, I've been told awful things by boys, and I've been made extremely uncomfortable by them. I approach everyone with a fair and open mind, and always give people the benefit of the doubt. But it would be a lie if I said that I was comfortable around men, especially men that I do not know. I am absolutely not comfortable around men. I am entirely uneasy around them. But I still treat them respectfully and equally, just as I'd treat a man who I was comfortable with and trusted, or a woman. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. I am never hostile towards anyone right off the bat, unless they give me reason to be.

 

I obviously write a lot of my thoughts on this blog. In the post the other day in which I referred to an ex as a "fuckwit rubbish boyfriend," I wasn't referring to men in general, but rather a specific boy who was rude and disapproving towards me. There's a new girl at work who I was working with a few weeks ago. She overheard a conversation that a friend and I were having, in which we were discussing (perhaps a bit contentiously) how obnoxious it was when boyfriends criticise the way you look. After my friend had departed, my new co-worker turns to me and matter-of-factly states, "I like when my boyfriend criticises the way I look." I wanted to cry. I wanted to grab her and cry into her, screaming about what is wrong with our society and the people who are sucked into its nastiness.

 

I am bitter towards the men and women who feed off of these lies and put themselves down over them. I am bitter of men for it because they become rude and they put down women and other men who choose to be themselves, such as this boyfriend who decided it was his position to put me down for an article of (mind you, completely non-offensive) clothing that I chose to wear. I have absolutely no patience for that. And I am equally bitter towards women who allow themselves to be put down, not only by men, but by their media. It is exhausting when women and young girls seem to be mindless drones to the hateful remarks and the damaging advertising and hurtful messages put forth by media.

 

I don't want my co-worker to continue going through life being verbally abused by her boyfriend. I want her to stand firm against him and against all the hate-filled media that surrounds her, and to be herself. It takes strength to be yourself, and it breaks my heart when girls (or boys) give up so easily. If I am hostile towards anything, it is our mainstream society. But I am always willing to fight against it and to help people fall out of the trap that it causes people to get caught in. I'm not going to give up on this girl just because she hasn't realised the damage that our mainstream society has caused her. And I'm not going to give up on boys who help to feul the hatefulness of this society, either. I am 100% dedicated to making a change so that everyone can be themselves. And yes, I still stand by that this boyfriend was rubbish and a bit of a fuckwit, but it doesn't mean that I don't think he can change. And it doesn't mean that he didn't help teach me an important lesson on rebelling against this society - and to be myself.

16 January 2013

I bet that, during these brief blogging absences, you guys go nuts wondering about my current thoughts on life and style and weather and society and feminism. I bet you can't even sleep at night. But don't worry! I am here, and boy, do I have thoughts or what!   To start with, these photos are from yesterday, hence the aptly titled post of "16 January 2013." It was slightly above freezing so I decided to chance my skin out in the snow and slight cold. Before leaving, I had been wearing some fancy black leather wedges, but then I paused and thought to myself, "You know, this is a blog of absolutely authenticity. When I leave the house later today [which I actually didn't end up doing because I'm a loser who'd rather stay in, paint with water colours, eat ice cream, and watch Twin Peaks] I will definitely be wearing practical winter boots." Nothing bugs me more than when I see so-called style bloggers or people on fashion sites wearing Jeffrey Campbell Litas or something of similar style out in the snow and ice. I think, "You loser, you probably wore those for 5 minutes and then switched into dorky snow boots so you didn't crack your head open." Don't worry guys, I am 100% authentic. So I took photos in dorky snow boots. (On the bright side - warm feet for photos & fiddling with camera!)   So there's my first rant for this blog post! Second: I wore this cape yesterday (the only Forever 21 item I own), which I don't wear much because when I bought it and was so in love with it, my fuckwit rubbish boyfriend at the time criticised me for it. This was at a time when I actually cared what boys (or anyone) thought about me, so I shoved it into the back of my closet for a couple of years and got sad whenever it found its way out. So now I'm wearing it again, and if boyfriend doesn't like it then, well...who cares. I don't care what boyfriend wears. He shouldn't care what I wear. (Side note: I totally would care if he wore something horribly offensive, like an "I Enjoy Vagina" Coca-Cola knock off t-shirt. Those hurt my little feminist soul.)   I was so excited about this post that I completely forgot what else I was going to say! Well, tomorrow is our last day of above freezing weather for a while...actually our last day of above 0 degrees (Farenheit) for a while! Monday puts us into -5 and frigid temps for a week. I am celebrating by being my usual badass self, calling out of work, and going to the zoo. Come on, a 45 degree high? You just don't get that in January! I also haven't seen those polar bears since July.   Anyways, boyfriend should be arriving any moment, so I better go get cute and prepare to continue with Twin Peaks! We started it on Monday and have been watching every night since. We're obsessed. Stay warm kiddies xx

stay home

It's 12 degrees out and windy. If you think I'm going to go take outfit photos in that, then you clearly overestimate my dedication to this blog. Instead, I stayed in  all day and stalked my cat's favourite sleeping spots, found a good place to perch in the sun, and stuck the camera in my dog's face, like he hates. You cannot beat Minnesota winter days spent indoors, especially when they're spent with cuddly pups (however, my cat will hardly even let me in the same room as him).





















That melancholia from last week still hasn't left me. I'm starting to think it's just winter and the immobilisation that it causes. It has nothing to do with light or dark, but rather frigidness, loneliness, isolation in the cold. I've been spending a lot of my time checking my class schedule, searching for campus student groups to join, brainstorming my own, searching for internships, dreaming about a new job...anything to get some movement into this frozen, icy existance. Minnesota winters are usually best spent indoors, but it sure can get lonesome.

2012 in Retrospect