life lately.

Life lately. I have a week and a half left of school, then I graduate. I also have that long left of one of my internships. This semester flew by. I think back to the first week and it really doesn't even seem that long ago. 
I spent the weekend cleaning the house for spiders. I got a bite on my face and my eye socket bruised and swelled up. I'm allergic to spiders and I get bit frequently. I'm used to it. But on my face? That's enough. I spent Friday spraying the house with tea tree oil because I read they don't like the scent. I've begun getting Christmas decorations out. I've been listening to Christmas music for about 3 months now, but I can finally embrace the decorations and I've allowed myself to start watching the movies. Lately my life is full of bad Hallmark made-for-TV Christmas movies, hot chocolate, peppermint Joe-Joe's, and cuddling with boyfriend in the cold winter nights.

Life is beautiful. I'm trying to take things slow and to breathe. My undergrad career is almost over. I will savour the next two weeks - it's been a long journey and I've come so far. I spent part of my afternoon going through the blog and simplifying some of the tags I've used to organise posts. I got to look back at some blog posts from 2008, all the way back when I was 15. One can really change in five years.... I have some of my most embarrassing, awkward teenage phases blogged into the internet universe forever. But I enjoy looking back and laughing over what I was, feeling proud of what I have become. I have a deep connection to that 15, 16, 17 year old blogger. I'm not really her anymore, but she's a strong part of me, and I have a deep love for that person still. A love that I really didn't feel for myself at the time.
I already feel that so much change is in store for me in this coming year. But for now, I will sip my hot cocoa and appreciate all that I have in this moment.

Halloween

Happy Halloween! What is everyone doing to "celebrate" this year? I'm really not a Halloween person. In fact, it's sort of my "dark day" of the year when I sit alone and sulk. I never really liked it, even as a kid, but since then I've had some pretty bad memories attached to it and so I've decided to just quit trying. I like handing out candy, though, so I did that until it started to rain. In Minnesota, Halloween is usually pretty cold. Kids go out trick or treating wearing their winter jackets and so you can't really see their costumes. In fact, most kids don't even bother dressing up and just go out in their winter jackets. It's a little bit uninspiring but I still love handing out candy. It reminds me of how much fun my friends and I used to have going trick or treating, though we used to dress up more. Kids these days are too wimpy. Back in my day, we sucked it up and just walked faster.


I made a card for my boyfriend and painted a pumpkin. I don't like carving them because they never turn out well, so I've started just painting my pumpkins. You can't light them up inside but oh well, kids just want the candy anyway.

I'm off to eat some candy and watch TV! I love the Halloween episodes of My So-Called Life and Freaks & Geeks. This weekend I'm having scary movie night with some friends so I'm saving all the big Halloween movies till then! Stay safe and stay spooky xx

Mo-Bear

After Moses died in March, my sister and I talked about possibly getting tattoos to commemorate him. I wasn't sure what to get. I didn't want a portrait, I didn't want words...I wanted to capture the feelings that I got from him - comfort, love, relaxation, happiness, laughter....

My sister is moving out of state next month, so I decided that, as a going away/Christmas present, I would pay for us to get tattoos together. It would be a bonding moment for my sister and I (it should be noted that we don't have many of those because we're polar opposites & don't really like each other 75% of the time).

I decided to get his paw print on my shoulder. It seems a little cliche and overdone. "Ohhhh she has an animal paw print on her back/neck/arm/etc. sooo cool and original." You know, like a tattoo of a butterfly or a dream catcher or something. But I wanted to commemorate a feeling, a moment, that I had with Moses. The feeling that I found myself in need of and missing was a very particular one. Whenever I was having a very stressful, anxiety-filled day, I would come home and collapse on the cold kitchen floor, laying flat on my stomach with my forehead against the linoleum. Moses would pad over to me and climb on my back, massaging my back with his warm little paws. Eventually he would settle down, resting one paw on either shoulder and settling his chin on top of my head. And then he'd sigh, a deep pug sigh, and everything would be gone. All my troubles, all my worries, all my tears. Everything would have been kneaded out with his little paws and sighed away as he settled deeper between my shoulder blades. I cannot imagine a better feeling in the world than having my warm, soft, fat, 20 pound best friend resting between my shoulders, his heavy head resting upon my own.

I got this tattoo to remember one of the many things that Moses gave me in our ten years together - deep comfort and a total release of all my troubles. Sometimes I try to remember what it felt like to have him resting on my back like he used to, and I am overcome with grief that I will never have anything identical to that again, but also joy that I ever had a dog as perfect as Moses, my little everything for 10 wonderful years of my life.

Taylor's Falls, MN + Franconia Scultpture Park

Last week the boyfriend and I took a trip up to Taylor's Falls. It was over 100°F in the metro area, so we looked at surrounding areas and noticed that Taylor's Fall was only 93°F. We packed a lunch, pulled on our hiking boots, and headed north. A town near Taylor's Falls boasts the Franconia Sculpture Park, so we dropped by there was well. The Park was empty on such a hot day and we were both drenched in our own sweat, so we only stopped by for a few minutes - enough to see some awesome artist-designed, playable sculptures. Northern Minnesota is one of my favourite places on Earth. There are few places that I am as comfortable as I am along the shores of Lake Superior or in the thick of the woods.

                               

life lately.

Some things in my life lately. I've been working hard on catching up in my class and falling in place at my internship. Even if I haven't been focusing on what I'm wearing, my camera has always been in tow and I've been looking through the lens everywhere I go. Since I got home, this summer has been all about Dairy Queen, a baby named Iris, laughing over my fat cat Gogo, and dinners out on the deck. I've been lucky to be surrounded by my family and my friends and have been enjoying every second of it immensely. Life is beautiful, especially when enjoyed with people you love.