My Twin Peaks Senior Thesis

....and for reading Chloe's Twin Peaks senior thesis!

After many, many moons, I have finally gotten around to releasing my senior paper, written Spring 2013. After casually mentioning it on the blog, many people were greatly interested in reading it. Since it is 25 pages, I created it its own blog and hope that this makes it easier to navigate. Please note that there are spoilers, so enter cautiously!

Click here to begin reading!

Where are you going, where have you been?

Semester slump is in full swing. There's something like 16 days left of classes and I am already pretending to myself that I am on winter break with no repsonsibilities, no exams, no presentations or homework or essays. It's extremely foolish of me, but I'm restless and annoyingly anxious to be done with this horrid semester.   Instead of focusing on the here and now, I am constantly caught up in my past and my future. I think often on semesters past, summer memories, prior trips I've taken, funny things that friends have said to me, when the next snowfall will be, with whom I will fall in love next, what cities I will visit in the coming months or years, and all sorts of foolish little things that keep me distracted from what needs to be done. It's probably a huge part of why I've fallen behind on blogging, actually. I spend too much time sitting in class daydreaming and then getting home and moping around feeling sorry for myself and wishing for the future to happen sooner.   Before break starts I have: one speech, one quiz, one script to write, four essays, two tests, two final exams, one film production, two more novels to read, and three presentations. Aye yi yi...everything creeps up fast! I better get a lot of this done over Thanksgiving break (between working 20 hours over two days and commencing with my Christmas celebrating).   I'm getting to the point where I'm a bit sick of everything in my closet (clean out time!) and so I went back to this H&M skirt which I haven't worn in ages but which I love (despite the static cling due to dry air). Before getting dressed this morning, I was reminded of a horrendous thing that happened to me when I wore stay ups & a garter to church once (read: half the congregation was exposed to what lay underneath my dress), so I went with these polka dot tights. All of my plain sheer tights have horrible runs in them and I like to try to keep in classy at church. Polka dots are classy.   I was also wearing this scarf which I found at a garage sale over the summer for $1. It is of different monuments in London (if you're blind and cannot tell by the photo). Even though London was my least favourite city that I've visited in Europe, this scarf had a definite charm to it (which London lacked). I'd love to go back to the city another time, when I'm not burnt out on backpacking and when it isn't peak tourist season. I swear, all of Europe is 1000x worse during tourist season. That said, you know you live in a (somewhat) boring town when there is no difference between tourist & non-tourist season. Welcome to Saint Paul, Minnesota. Oh well, I like it here. A lot better than London.   This brings me to my next point: study abroad! I'm still dreaming about studying abroad. I have my keen eye on Copenhagen for fall semester. It is probably the most expensive programme that my university even offers, but it also seems like the best fit (other than financially) for me. I keep my fingers continuously crossed that I can afford it. Denmark just looks so romantic and beautiful - a perfect mix between modern and rustic - and also very green, which I like.   I'm still so distraught that in America, our government would rather tear up the land in search of oil than invest in wind or solar energy. I remember when I was in Munich, I was so impressed by how everyone had solar panels on their rooves. I wish that Americans had the same outlook on keeping a healthy planet, even if it means making sacrifices in the types of vehicles they drive.   I also have my fingers crossed for study abroad in Paris for May Term and also for a summer internship. I really need to start learning about what is out there! There's so much to do, so much to see...   Well, I guess I have postponed my studies for long enough! I've been listening to Christmas music all day and have finally gotten around to starting a Christmas Cheer board on Pinterest. I seriously don't know why it took so long for me to do that...   And now, the homework must commence! xx

lost in my mind

I've been spending pretty much all of my time day dreaming as of recent. Day dreaming, and planning for the future. I'm falling in love with strangers on the bus simply because I'm starved for some romance and companionship in my life. I'm planning for study abroad and my upcoming semesters because I'm absolutely sick of school and of campus. Autumn has brought some beautiful things into my life. I love this time of year. I'm the type of person who goes out of their way to step on the fallen leaves - the sound underfoot is so pleasing - and who enjoys bundling up every morning and embracing the chilly wind. It wakes me up.   I wore this rather collegiate outfit today. I saw a boy wearing this same jacket the other day - alright, he was sitting right next to me in the library - so I was inspired to wear it myself. The deep red is so beautiful for autumn (or any season, really, 'cause who doesn't love red?). The faux leather shorts add some bad-ass-ness to this outfit (see what I did there? I made up a word.) and the socks and shoes gave it a '50s private school feel. I woke up at 5:30am this morning because I had a meeting with my college advisor, so I pretty much just got dressed in the dark and damp. I think I pulled out alright.   Speaking of college advisors - I'm extra chipper because I've decided on some major things! First, I'm almost 100% certain that I'm going to drop my fashion studies minor. Why do I even need it? Why do I need something on my transcript that says that I know about fashion? That's dumb.   I also found out that if I pull 13 credits a semester, I will be able to graduate Spring 2014. Easy, peasy! 13 credits? That's nothing at all! I'm doing 19 this semester! Okay, I officially sound bratty, time to stop.   Finally, I think (keyword: think) that I have my study abroad options narrowed down: Rome or Copenhagen? I'm going to meet with financial aid about it, but I'm almost sure it'll be one of those two for Fall 2013. Does anyone have any input? I see pro & con lists in my near future....   I feel all gloaty with all of my bragging and hope for my future. I suppose it's better than my usual mopey-ness and cryptic commentary on society, eh? The autumn weather and hope of romance has been putting me in a great mood! Anyways, the presidential debates are happening tonight. In only a matter of minutes, I expect to be sitting on the couch, Joe Biden mug in hand, cheering on Barack Obama and getting pissed off about everything that comes out of Mitt Romney's mouth. Cheers!

good morning little school girl

Hello everyone! I hope that you all had a great Valentine's Day (it's my second favourite holiday!) and that February is off to a great start. And if it isn't...well, it's half way over!


So far, for me, February has not been very good. I'm stressed about school to no end and have started having nervous breakdowns, which is startling since I haven't had one in a couple of years. Furthermore, my boyfriend dumped me yesterday! I now know how it feels to be dumped by someone who you think you'll be spending the rest of your life with, and it does not feel very good...at all. But, as with all break ups, I'm trying to keep my head up and have some hope.



I have a "thing" that I do everytime I get dumped by a boy. I am so stubborn that I refuse to let him be the major change in my life. It's unfair to change everything around for a boy, so I find something in my life that I can change. In my case, it is school.




As I mentioned, school has been killing me lately...I try to hide personal things in my life that have been concerning me, especially on the Internet. I do not care for my personal business to be out in the open. But with this, I feel strongly about it and I feel like there will be a positive outcome from it. And maybe people will listen and feel inspired to make their own change.


Last fall I started school for fashion design. I was 18, bubbly, cheerful, seemingly undeterred, finally at a healthy weight and also, finally, in a healthy relationship. But, as I quickly found out, design school is not meant for people like me...people who have souls, who feel positive emotions, who love and enjoy the little things in life.


My major immediately suffocated me. I wasn't able to do the things I loved. I was around people who I couldn't relate to. I was working less (and working does make me happy, to be honest) and spent every bit of myself pouring over colour assignments or hunched over my sewing machine. I quickly became stressed and moody. I lost 10 pounds over the first month or so, which caused me great concern and also more stress. I snapped at people I loved and let myself get torn up over B's (and a B isn't even a bad grade!). But...it was my 4th major and I was tired of changing my mind. I realised, I'm going to be in college for the rest of my life if I didn't make up my mind. I was already looking at 6 years just to get this one degree! I had convinced myself that I wanted to be in fashion, and this was the way to do it.

When I started having panic attacks this semester (they're scary and you can't really breathe or cry or anything), I realised that this wasn't going to work. Three and a half more years of this would turn me into a zombie. I'm not made for this, it gives me no joy and little pleasure. And so, I've already started talking to some very important people in my life (as well as some aquaintances) about making a change in my education and I'm already feeling better about it. After I meet with my advisor, I'll have a better idea of it all but for now, I'll be switching to communications with a French and design minor. This is a change I feel good about, and I'm happy to have made it myself!




Maybe this was a bit for myself, but I hope it encouraged you to make a change for yourself, too. It's absolutely silly to let anyone else do the changing in your own life. Take charge and make things better! You only have yourself to blame if you're unhappy about life.




p.s. I hope this doesn't make this whole post sound like a sale pitch, but don't forget about Buy My Stuff! I've been altering some of the prices and I believe that they're agreeable. I still have more stuff to add, as well.

Back to French Class

The more hours that I put in at work, the more I find myself missing Europe - mostly Paris! It also probably doesn't help that I just re-watched Midnight in Paris, which I'll admit was actually my first Woody Allen film! It's a charming little tale of Owen Wilson visiting Paris with fiancee. At night, he wanders off and time travels back to the '20s, where he meets the Fitzgeralds, Picasso, Hemingway, T.S. Elliot, Josephine Baker, and so many other pop culture figures of the Jazz Age. The film is also beautifully interrupted with shots of Paris in the rain, at dusk, and in night. Watching it gives me the most terrible yearning to return!







Being a slave to the punch in clock is actually making me looking forward to pouring over textbooks and hurriedly scribbling notes at university, which awaits me in just under a month! The only thing I'm worried about is the tuition and other little supply & student bills, which are already stacking up. This semester I'll be taking 3 different design classes and also a French composition class. I just got my supply list for my colour theory class, and it's $200 for supplies, not including books! It'll be fun trying to find a way to scrape that money together, I'm sure! In the meantime, I'm not thinking too hard about school. I'm just trying to enjoy the end of summer! We have the state fair coming up soon, and on top of that I'm going to a Twins baseball game & hopefully the drive-in!







I have to admit that I'm a sucker for high-waisted anything! Especially shorts and skirts, though. They're so good for shorties like me, because they make legs look miles longer. The Guess jeans, which I cut up earlier this summer, have a bit of a '70s vibe to them. I'm really into this trend right now, and I'm actually looking to try the bell bottoms! I haven't worn jeans, or even full length pants, in such a long time. If I do end up finding a pair I like, it'll be such a dramatic change of style for me. But with my hair getting longer, I'm feeling a lot more boho than flapper.









Remember those many months ago, when snow was still on the ground, that I made the resolution to start running again? Well, after I think 3 of 4 runs around the neighbourhood, I learned a thing or two about exercising and healthy living, and how it's different for everyone. Running is clearly just not for me. I have weak lungs and have severe trouble breathing when running. At first I tried pushing myself, figuring I was just out of shape. But running isn't for everyone and my small lungs just couldn't handle it. I've been eating healthier lately and finding new ways to get fit. Biking is the best option for me. It gives me incredible energy to go on bike rides, and the best part is getting back in and gobbling down loads of fresh fruit. I've also been really into yoga, weight lifting, crunches, and jumps. I'm not beating myself up, I'm just trying to stay active amongst my heavy work schedule. I think it's important for everyone to find out what works for them and balance their lives. I'm still working on that with my own. And for now, this balance will remain in the USA, but my heart is Paris.

Bettie Page & the Jazz Summer

Great news folks! I've graduated! (Hence the expression of joy and hope and new beginnings - yeah, there's a lot packed into that smile!) Anyways, to celebrate, I bought myself this pair of shorts. I went to the dreaded Mall of America on Thursday and wandered across (read: purposefully guided our shopping trip towards) the new Bettie Page Store. The clothes are so sweet - '50s sun dresses, lazy day beach rompers, and wiggle skirts, and all in sizes xs to 4x. The girls working there are like darling little cupcakes with victory rolls and hoop skirts. I fell in love with these shorts immediately (who wouldn't?) and snatched them up with graduation in mind.


It has to be said that I've always wanted more curves. As an extremely petite, slim person, even the raindrops miss me. I feel the need to highlight the following to everyone - no one is ever completely happy with their bodies. It's an entirely normal thing and it shouldn't make you (or me) a bad person. I don't put myself down about being naturally slim and I hope that girls with curves don't put themselves down about it either. Embrace what you have and remember that it's entirely normal to feel insecure, as long as, in the end, you love yourself for who you are. Ok, preaching over, let's get back to the shorts. They make me feel like a little pin up girl from an Elvgren painting! The sizes run small, but the xs still fit me fine, with an inch or two of room around the waist (I told you I'm petite!). I've only worn them once and have already been raking in the compliments, which only makes me feel better in them. They're my new feel good shorts and I'm sure they'll get plently of wear throughout the summer...and into fall...and winter.

But enough about the shorts, since I could write a novel about them. Let's talk hats! I was sporting this cloche hat to throw some flapper into the midst and also to tame my curls a bit. I usually detest the flatness of hat hair but it was necessary for the grad cap!


I don't know who invented the grad cap, but he and I need to have a serious chat about how to wear such a contraption with curly hair! The elastic causes curls to stick out like you got electrocuted, and if you have bangs, well...there's really no way to work that. After having both my roomate and mother try to yank it onto my noggin and arrange my bangs and curls, without success, I folded in the sides and pinned it in. Not such a bad technique!



To finish up this outfit and get on with graduation...I'm wearing a blouse from H&M, Madden Girl ruffle pumps, a vintage bracelet from Bohemien Bisoux, Lime Crime's Retrofuturist lipstick, and a new cloche hat which I picked up from a hat shop in Old Town Albuquerque, New Mexico! Oh and of course a brand new pair of un-ran stockings. I was saving this pair just for an occasion in which rips and runs certainly would not do! Unfortunately my legs aren't in great shape what with bruises and bug bites galore, but it's just another sign of summer! And now, a quick run-through of graduation:


Before the ceremony I was literally all over the place with anxiety! I was taking a photo everytime I caught my reflection and was waving my lint brush around like a mad woman! It's surprising that I was so excited to graduate - I haven't technically been in high school for 2 years! I've been doing full-time college classes since junior year.



My high school is very small (like me!). There were only 12 other kids in my class. Being back made me a bit sad that I hadn't been around for the past 2 years - these kids had been like a big family to me! It felt great to be back in the swim with the other fish.



I also graduated with honours, and got to wear this cool gold sash!



Photos! I actually didn't take many photos with people, but I got a few. This is my father! I was the first one out the door after graduating (it helps that my last name begins with A) and the weather last night was so fantastic!



This boy graduated last year. We used to be best friends & it was so great to be able to see him again! I think he's grown. I was wearing 4 inch heels and he's still slouching!



My sister and I have identical smiles! I've never really thought that we looked the same, but we do have the same mouth. She's much taller than me - her being 5'7" and me being barely 5'1"!



And finally, with both my parents! Overall it was a great ceremony and I cannot wait to start the summer! On the 22nd I'm having my 18th birthday and on the 28th of June I'm leaving for Europe for 32 days. Hopefully a bit of summer love will follow me, as well! Maybe a nice French boy, hmm?

who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Part of my agreement (with myself) for 2011 fashion is to try new things (fearlessly) & pull out some stuff from my wardrobe that I bought but never or rarely wear. Let's call it a fashion resolution. One of those things is this grey poncho. I bought it in autumn at Forever 21. I never ever go in that store when I'm out shopping - it's just too big, loud, and cluttered. But I was shopping with a friend who's addicted to F21, so we went in. I found this poncho & fell absolutely in love with it! It's super duper soft and comfy. I happily bought it, but then never wore it.

I'm really into capes & ponchos right now though, and have been loving all the fellow bloggers sporting them, so I decided to give it a go. I felt a bit like Little Red Riding Hood, if she was sort of a dark little emo girl. I felt like the red lipstick & rose pendant made it almost gothic-like. I like it a lot. A bit vamp-y, a bit '20s-ish (think Theda Bara).

The rose pendant necklace is actually my mum's. I own hardly any jewelry at all. I wish I had a larger collection. My mum has some nice pieces though, such as this one, which added a nice woodsy, outdoors touch.

My boyfriend saw me in this today & referred to it as a number of things, including "dark", "witch-y", & "trashy." Hmmmm... He's always had a great distate for a lot of the clothes & makeup I wear. In all honesty, I just wanted to be comfortable today, as I'm spending the day in getting stuff done before classes start tomorrow!

This semester I'm only taking 12 credits: two French classes, geography, and self defense. I'll also be working about 30 hours a week & sewing intensively (or so I plan to). Right now I'm working on a red cape. Obviously I've been drawing a lot of inspiration from fairytales.

Thanks to everyone for the book & author recommendations! I'll write them down & look around the next time I'm in a book store. Yesterday I read "What Would Audrey Do?" for an hour or so & I'm almost done! Hmmm what will I move to next?

finals & excessive amounts of snow

Finals week is approaching, or rather it has approached, and I'm completely stressed in every way possible (I do not recommend going through a huge dramatic break up right before finals - I appreciate your guys' nice comments :3). And so, I'm de-stressing in the most realistic way possible - shopping! After biology lecture today, I ran over to the University of Minnesota store for a pair of mittens. The adult mittens were too big for my baby hands so I scurried on over to the kids section for identical mittens in a smaller size.
I also ran across this sweatshirt, which I really liked. I love kids sized sweatshirts (not hoodies) because they're so cozy and warm without looking bulky. I hate drowning in my clothes, which happens so much because I'm insanely petite!

After I had chosen my sweatshirt and mittens, I turned around and BAM! Socks. How could I help myself? I loved these knee high ones, with the gophers on them. The U of MN has this really ugly footballing gopher for their mascot. I have a million t-shirts with that guy on them. Anyways, knee highs aren't convenient in every situation, so I also went on to pick out a pair of ankle socks. What can I say? I love socks.

As a side note: I am literally wearing a pair of wooly tights, a sweatshirt, and knee high socks. I apologize for this hot mess look (especially the awful slept-on hair). This was my stay-home-and-intend-to-study-but-actually-watch-Dr-Phil-and-eat-ice-cream outfit.

On Friday night, the snow hit. This is the view from the highway on the way to work (don't worry I wasn't driving). Visibility was nearly zero, you couldn't even see the Mall of America, even when you were right up to it. The Mall closed 4 hours early that day, after city buses, hotel shuttles, & taxis quit running. All in all, we got something like 17" of snow and the Vikings metrodome roof fell in.

After work, still in my work uniform, I took my puppy for a walk. I ended up having to carry him through the snow, which varied between knee height and waist deep. At one point I fell down and got covered with snow while holding Moses. He won't let me take him out on winter walks now. Trust shattered.

Now we're suffering from below zero temperatures, however I've found that I'm fully adapted to winter and am hardly even cold in sub-zero temperatures. That said, I wear 3+ layers wherever I go, so that may have something to do with it.

As a last note before I actually do begin my final paper which is due tomorrow, Chris Fox drew this wonderful doodle of me chilling in the waist deep snow.