good morning little school girl

Hello everyone! I hope that you all had a great Valentine's Day (it's my second favourite holiday!) and that February is off to a great start. And if it isn't...well, it's half way over!


So far, for me, February has not been very good. I'm stressed about school to no end and have started having nervous breakdowns, which is startling since I haven't had one in a couple of years. Furthermore, my boyfriend dumped me yesterday! I now know how it feels to be dumped by someone who you think you'll be spending the rest of your life with, and it does not feel very good...at all. But, as with all break ups, I'm trying to keep my head up and have some hope.



I have a "thing" that I do everytime I get dumped by a boy. I am so stubborn that I refuse to let him be the major change in my life. It's unfair to change everything around for a boy, so I find something in my life that I can change. In my case, it is school.




As I mentioned, school has been killing me lately...I try to hide personal things in my life that have been concerning me, especially on the Internet. I do not care for my personal business to be out in the open. But with this, I feel strongly about it and I feel like there will be a positive outcome from it. And maybe people will listen and feel inspired to make their own change.


Last fall I started school for fashion design. I was 18, bubbly, cheerful, seemingly undeterred, finally at a healthy weight and also, finally, in a healthy relationship. But, as I quickly found out, design school is not meant for people like me...people who have souls, who feel positive emotions, who love and enjoy the little things in life.


My major immediately suffocated me. I wasn't able to do the things I loved. I was around people who I couldn't relate to. I was working less (and working does make me happy, to be honest) and spent every bit of myself pouring over colour assignments or hunched over my sewing machine. I quickly became stressed and moody. I lost 10 pounds over the first month or so, which caused me great concern and also more stress. I snapped at people I loved and let myself get torn up over B's (and a B isn't even a bad grade!). But...it was my 4th major and I was tired of changing my mind. I realised, I'm going to be in college for the rest of my life if I didn't make up my mind. I was already looking at 6 years just to get this one degree! I had convinced myself that I wanted to be in fashion, and this was the way to do it.

When I started having panic attacks this semester (they're scary and you can't really breathe or cry or anything), I realised that this wasn't going to work. Three and a half more years of this would turn me into a zombie. I'm not made for this, it gives me no joy and little pleasure. And so, I've already started talking to some very important people in my life (as well as some aquaintances) about making a change in my education and I'm already feeling better about it. After I meet with my advisor, I'll have a better idea of it all but for now, I'll be switching to communications with a French and design minor. This is a change I feel good about, and I'm happy to have made it myself!




Maybe this was a bit for myself, but I hope it encouraged you to make a change for yourself, too. It's absolutely silly to let anyone else do the changing in your own life. Take charge and make things better! You only have yourself to blame if you're unhappy about life.




p.s. I hope this doesn't make this whole post sound like a sale pitch, but don't forget about Buy My Stuff! I've been altering some of the prices and I believe that they're agreeable. I still have more stuff to add, as well.