Someone said I was losing my edge. Maybe it was the floral dress or the polka dots. Or maybe it was my 10 minute tangent on my love for Lady Di. Perhaps it was because I finally fessed up to liking poetry. Either way, I do not take kindly to losing my edge. Sure, I'll always be that girl who claims that Cat Stevens saved her life and who stock piles old copies of Teen Vogue in her bedroom. I'll never be that hard ass punk on the bus who makes you shake in your boots at the very thought of making accidental eye contact with. Curly hair isn't exactly uninviting and I usually have a smile on my face or in my eyes. But despite all this, I still like to think that I have spunk - a unique edge to my personality - that sets me apart from my peers. Let's face it: there're a lot of 19 year old girls out there (and a good lot of them probably have curly hair) who possess that youthful curiosity and longing that plagues all young people. We probably all have friends and like music. We probably all have secret crushes and grew up watching Mr. Rogers and Power Rangers. We're all stuck in that limbo between wanting to grow up and wanting to stay young forever. We've all cried and we've all laughed. So what's to set us apart?
I tend to think of myself as having a completely average life. I don't have any extraordinary skills and I haven't had many out-of-the-ordinary experiences. But yet, I've had people tell me that I am unique and they've never met anyone like me. It's always very humbling to hear something like that, but I often scratch my head and wonder what makes me so different?
When I was in Guatemala and living with three other girls close to my age who've had similar life experiences, I realised that I looked at everything completely different from the other three. They were often taken aback by the things I said and the things I did. I reacted different from anyone in the group - drastically different. I was the only one to say that our group was overstepping the line between playfulness and cattiness, but I was also the quickest to make judgements of people and it was indeed me who loudly said, "I hate people - they're slow & stupid" on a crowded airplane. I was much more opinionated and I tended to say what I thought, without thinking much about the consequences. This is me. This is how I am, but I never thought it made me unique or that it gave me edge. It just made me, me. Up until that trip, I don't think I ever fully realised that our perspectives on life are the only things that are 100% unique to ourselves. I used to think, "Oh, I watch old movies and listen to '70s folk music and oh ho ho ho that makes me soooo different from my peers!" But no. It really doesn't. The only thing that is entirely mine, the only thing that really, truly gives me edge is the way I look at and the way I respond the things around me. That's all there is.
I think I wore this outfit to symbolically point out that I have indeed not yet lost my edge. I can still stomp around in boots and wear leather, which gives me some edge, but it's still an edge that a few thousand other 19 year old girls probably share. Anyways, we all get it now, right?
I'm most excited to show off this new skirt. My auntie brought over a bag of clothes that she was going to send to Goodwill if I didn't make claim to them first. My aunt seemed to have been exactly my size when she was my age (maybe taller, though...everyone is taller than me, let's face it) because everything fit like a button. This is the same auntie who gifted me my favourite brown Nancy Drew shorts. Anyways, this skirt was in the pile of '70s vintage goodies that she sent over. At first, I shrugged it off thinking, "This isn't really my style" but when I put it on that night, I completely fell in love. It has such a soft, floaty, romantic hippie type of vibe to it. Plus, it has pockets. Who doesn't love pockets, seriously? I decided to toughen it up with some leather and make it more season-appropriate by knotting a lace shirt from American Apparel.
I am also wearing floral sunglasses that I made a few weeks ago and posted a tutorial for here. I decided something was missing, so I added the bowler hat. Whenever I wear this hat, I think back to the part in Sixteen Candles when Farmer Ted says that he loves a girl in a hat, it's so vogue. I think the hat and the sunnies added the perfect dose of '80s flair to the otherwise very '70s hippie-dippie outfit. I don't know if I'd be able to beat someone up in this, but at least I have some edge.
While I was taking these photos, I looked over and noticed that there was a guy sitting on his back step about 15 feet away, smoking a cigarette and watching me the whole time. I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later... I just smiled and said hi and then fiddled with the camera until he finished his smoke and left. Whew, got that awkward social interaction done with for today. I still have work tonight, so I'm anticipating having to wade through about 100 more of them before hitting the pillow tonight.
I'm still blogging uncomfortably and awkwardly from another computer. I have to save all my files as .png so I'm sorry if they're taking longer than usual to load. As soon as I have my laptop Godfrey in good health, the blog will be back to normal! In the meantime, remember to become a fan of Urban Tease on Facebook and enjoy this quote about being average from Clara Bow:
“I don’t think I’m very different from any other girl - except that I work harder and have suffered more. And I have red hair.”