I love when people leave me comments or send me emails. I read them all and take them all to heart. I especially enjoy when people point out flaws or bring up further curiosities in my thought processes. So when I recieved a comment on the last post asking if I was perhaps a tad hostile towards men (while also being a feminist and a Christian), I suddenly became fearful that maybe I do come off as hostile towards males - or that maybe I am a tad hostile towards them? I think that this question came as a response to me referring to an ex as a "fuckwit rubbish boyfriend." I thought I'd clear a few things up and maybe explain my stance on boys vs. girls vs. society. Boys and men will be used interchangably.
First off, I have every reason to be hostile towards certain boys. Not all boys, of course, but certain ones, yes. I've been pushed around by boys. I've been in abusive relationships, I've been told awful things by boys, and I've been made extremely uncomfortable by them. I approach everyone with a fair and open mind, and always give people the benefit of the doubt. But it would be a lie if I said that I was comfortable around men, especially men that I do not know. I am absolutely not comfortable around men. I am entirely uneasy around them. But I still treat them respectfully and equally, just as I'd treat a man who I was comfortable with and trusted, or a woman. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. I am never hostile towards anyone right off the bat, unless they give me reason to be.
I obviously write a lot of my thoughts on this blog. In the post the other day in which I referred to an ex as a "fuckwit rubbish boyfriend," I wasn't referring to men in general, but rather a specific boy who was rude and disapproving towards me. There's a new girl at work who I was working with a few weeks ago. She overheard a conversation that a friend and I were having, in which we were discussing (perhaps a bit contentiously) how obnoxious it was when boyfriends criticise the way you look. After my friend had departed, my new co-worker turns to me and matter-of-factly states, "I like when my boyfriend criticises the way I look." I wanted to cry. I wanted to grab her and cry into her, screaming about what is wrong with our society and the people who are sucked into its nastiness.
I am bitter towards the men and women who feed off of these lies and put themselves down over them. I am bitter of men for it because they become rude and they put down women and other men who choose to be themselves, such as this boyfriend who decided it was his position to put me down for an article of (mind you, completely non-offensive) clothing that I chose to wear. I have absolutely no patience for that. And I am equally bitter towards women who allow themselves to be put down, not only by men, but by their media. It is exhausting when women and young girls seem to be mindless drones to the hateful remarks and the damaging advertising and hurtful messages put forth by media.
I don't want my co-worker to continue going through life being verbally abused by her boyfriend. I want her to stand firm against him and against all the hate-filled media that surrounds her, and to be herself. It takes strength to be yourself, and it breaks my heart when girls (or boys) give up so easily. If I am hostile towards anything, it is our mainstream society. But I am always willing to fight against it and to help people fall out of the trap that it causes people to get caught in. I'm not going to give up on this girl just because she hasn't realised the damage that our mainstream society has caused her. And I'm not going to give up on boys who help to feul the hatefulness of this society, either. I am 100% dedicated to making a change so that everyone can be themselves. And yes, I still stand by that this boyfriend was rubbish and a bit of a fuckwit, but it doesn't mean that I don't think he can change. And it doesn't mean that he didn't help teach me an important lesson on rebelling against this society - and to be myself.