Big Star

Summer can start! I finished up my web design class yesterday and am all amped up to have three weeks of fun. I kicked Friday off with spending several hours at my internship, getting pissed off, buying school supplies at Walgreens, discovering that my laptop Godfrey is broken, researching new laptops, and then cleaning the fish tank. Cool. This better not be what my summer is like. Okay, it isn't all bad. My friend Tyler stopped over and I adore him so that was nice. I had corn on the cob and ate on the back deck with my parents. I got a call back for an internship I really want. I signed up to attend a political summit in a few weeks. I get to see my best friend of 16 years tomorrow (after not seeing her for months!) and my boyfriend is taking me to dinner at the restaurant that we had our first date. Life is great.   I'm glad that I tend to have a good outlook on things. I was contemplating this today. Are people born naturally optimistic or pessimistic? Or is it entirely a choice? I go through phases where I get myself worked up, thinking that my life is horrid and completely hopeless and nothing is good. But then I give it a day or two to cool off and am able to think clearer. Today as I left my internship in a huff after pretty much being called incompetent about typefaces (!!!!!!) I wandered the aisles of Walgreen's and just thought things over. Then I took a long walk home in the sun and worked to convince myself that things aren't really that bad and people who put you down really don't matter. Why are people rude & petty anyways? I don't understand it. This outfit is to counter all of that unhappiness - bright and colourful and optimistic!   I've been sick with an infection from bad allergies (dang it, I love my cats too much). My doctor prescribed me a nasal spray so my boyfriend brought me to pick it up. While we were waiting I was looking at the hair stuff. There's been a box of Goody hairclips there for years and every time I go to pharmacy, I look at it and want it so bad. I mentioned this to my boyfriend and he bought them for me. And an ice cream cone. The small things that make my life so wonderful - Goody hairclips like I wore in pre-K and mint chip ice cream.   I found this shirt in some little store in Montmartre when I was in Paris in June. I liked the bright colours and the '70s vibes. I think it's deadstock from the '70s actually, given how (badly) the fabric breathes. I wasn't sure what to wear with these acid wash Cheap Mondays so I thought, "I might as well go all out with colour!" and threw on this top, immediately knowing that these orange sneakers from yeswalker were necessary. And of course the heart shaped shades. I couldn't resist. And do you know what? Wearing this outfit actually made me happy.   My boyfriend shot these photos for me and I was so happy about everything that I got a bit silly (keep your eyes peeled for a ridiculous outtake in the next few days). Being light of heart at the right times is such a good feeling. Who knew that silliness could heal the heart so well?  


Keeping this blog is also something that frees my heart and brings me great joy. I don't care how many people read it or how many people like my outfits. I only care that some people hear my words and some people think about them and have something to say. Although some people have nasty things to say to me on my blog, for the most part it's a supportive community of young people all wanting to make the world more beautiful. I was pretty elated when I found out that over 900 people visited my blog yesterday. This is more than double the average. Maybe these people weren't reading my words, but I'd like to think that they were. And I'd like to think that, even if you don't take them to heart, they're at least considered as viable and true. It's hard being someone who, ever since she was a toddler and had to go to speech therapy with a mouth full of lisps, has been told that she talks wrong. That she doesn't articulate well. That her feelings don't matter, her opinion doesn't matter, what she has to say doesn't matter. All I care is that one person thinks that my words matter. So what I'm really getting to is this: I'm super emotional today and just want to give a huge THANKS and a huge hug to all the sweet words that have been coming my way lately. I wish that I could individually get to know every reader. I wish that I could hear about your life and your troubles and your joys, the way that you hear about mine. So here's what I'm asking of you: leave a comment telling me something about yourself, something that's been troubling you, and something that you feel positive or joyful about.   For me, well you know about me, but I'll share my one trouble and my one optimism for today. My trouble is that a former co-worker's son was badly beaten by a gang in Saint Paul. He was just walking down the street and they attacked him. This man, the father, was the nicest guy, always with a giant smile on his face and with a love for silent films. Please keep the son & his family in your prayers & thoughts.   My optimism is this: mean people don't matter. I have so much love and friendship in my life, and thus I have so much to be thankful for. Even if today had its downs, I was also able to realise its ups. And I'm thankful for that.   Stay optimistic, my friends xx