Saturday, September 1, 2012

When I was only 17, I could hear the angels whispering...

Today is one of those days where I feel like I have so much to say, but not enough words to say it with. School is starting on Tuesday, a semester sure to be filled with French literature, feeling lonesome on a cold campus, and my doomed tendancy to lose motivation after the first week. I've been making a list of things to keep me going this semester...reasons to keep up in school, to keep busy and not let down time make me lazy or idle. This blog is one thing. It gives me something to do in my free time and allows me to be creative. My job is another, though I begin to like it less and less with every shift. I have my friends even though I've began, for the first time in my life, to develop an aversion towards boys. I have always been that girl who surrounds herself with guy friends, never really having many friends who are girls. I can count on one hand, finger, how many close friends I have who are girls. Yes, one girl friend. I can also count how many miles away from me she currently lives. 170 miles.
This has never been a problem until recently. I've always been more than happy to have guys to spend my time with so that I didn't have to talk about nail polish and shopping and other seemingly mundane things. But after several years of this, I can officially say I've had it. I crave some sort of female attention for the first time in my life. Several of my male co-workers read (or at least look at) this blog. When I heard about this, I was half shocked, half put off. I couldn't help but think, "I don't write that blog for you to read! I write it for girls to read!" Naturally, anyone who wishes to can read my blog, but I truly do write it for young women.
A lot of girls criticise me for what I wear, thinking that I dress this way to attract men. It is totally understandable why people would think this: I love my short shorts and my high heels. I have a huge tattoo going up my thigh and tend to adorn my face with makeup. I flirt with everyone who crosses my path and am open about most things sexual. I am uninhibited, which can perplex a lot of females.
But I started this blog and write about what I want and dress the way I want because I'd like to inspire girls to be who they want to be. I'm not saying, "HEY DRESS LIKE ME, TALK LIKE ME, BE LIKE ME!" I also don't write this blog to give men some pretty pictures to look at or words to convince them that they're in love with. I write the blog so that girls can read it and inspire to be their own person, to be uninhibited and crazy, not caring what people think about them. That is the entire blog summed up in one paragraph. That is why I continue to update this with my thoughts, words, desires, and chitter chatter. And I hope that I am reasonably successful in my attempts.
Now that that is over, I should give a quick "What I'm Wearing" low down. This shirt was gifted to me by my auntie. It's another token from her youth and is absoultely wonderful. The huge sleeves are surprisingly breezy and I had no problem wearing them on a 90 degree day. All I have to say about this: Go big or go home!
The shorts are my usual from Guess, with piles of bracelets and rings, my brown Doc Martens, and a dream catcher from New Mexico.
Let's end this with a charming photo of me looking a little dopey and my dog looking equally so. I know how you feel, Moses! Time to relax for my evening...I've got a stack of movies and some sewing to get done. Woohoo, my wild Saturday nights!


Sushi said...

Lovely outfit, I really like how you've mixed the feminine blouse with the shorts and docs. Cute doggy too! x Sushi

My Gaby said...

love the blouse!

stuckinazoo said...

Very interesting post. I understand (to an extent) what you feel like. I've always had a tight group of guy friends while my "best" girl friends came and went. There are just some situations where female companionship is needed! Anyways, I think it's inspiring that you're not afraid to be yourself, plus you have a killer sense of style.

Blue Eyed Night Owl said...

The more I scrolled down the more I loved it:) Great hair, awesome tattoo, amazing dog! And then I read what you had to say and loved it too!

And I hope you'll find some other female friends to hang out with closer by. To talk about nail polish in real life;) Because sometimes that really just is what a girl needs.

Meli said...

I feel like I had an opposite experience. I only ever talked to girls all through high school, but at college most of my friends are guys! Boys are people too, but at the same time the friendships function completely differently. I think it's good to have a bit of both.
I'll be your friend!!

Rockster1039 said...

Pugs make the best faces. Their tongues never seem to fit completely in their mouths :P

Rachel said...

I've never really felt that you dress that way to attract guys. I mean, when you have a cool tattoo on your thigh, the shorts definitely make sense, right? :D
Also, really hope you have luck trying to expand your circle of friends! I have the opposite problem, but I get where you're coming from.

Haus of Duzniak said...

Love DMS they bringe edge to the girliest of outfits. Also can never get enough of acid wash!

Mostly Lisa said...

Good luck at school! I am sure it will go by smoothly and you'll meet new people.

Don't let anyone tell you can't dress the way you want to dress. That's your style, and your individuality. You have that right.


Mostly Lisa

SafiyaMarie said...

I wont lie your blog is literally my fave to read because you engage your audience with things other than fashion and clothes. I reckon you are completely successful in your attempt to make an inspirational blog. I'd love mine to be like yours, haha :) I think everyone needs to celebrate their individuality and be their own person just like you said.

PS. that top is freaking awesome!

Natalie said...

I am so in love with this outfit! The top is so lovely!

Allison said...

So, you are trying to inspire girls but at the same time are saying things like girls only talk about nail polish and other mundane things? Do you not notice how convoluted that message is!? Yeah, some girls talk about nail polish. Some girls also talk about social change and politics and art and literature and ways to make the world a better place. I hesitate to leave this comment on a post a week old but I think you need to really think about what you are saying and your ideas about women. Where do these ideas come from?

Jess said...

Actually yeah, I have to agree with Allison. Generalizing women and saying they're only interested in nail polish and mundane things...well it's extremely counterproductive for being a feminist. Unless you're saying you used to feel that way and have thus changed how you think about other women?

Anyways, I hate when people think you dress for male attention just because you like heels and shorts and makeup.

We wear them because we like heels and shorts and makeup? Why is this a hard concept to grasp?

Ha...Allison felt bad because she commented a week late. I'm commenting in a new year. *sigh.