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I feel like I should let you know that this post will have a lot of photos (come on, LOOK AT THAT SKIRT), too many words (because it's me and my mind is always overflowing), and an obnoxious cat named Little Girl (who's making her very first blog appearance). I got this skirt in the mail today from ANTHOM, one of my lovely sponsors this month. It's also the most beautiful skirt that I've probably ever seen in my whole entire life. It's from a Brooklyn based brand called How Very Dare and I already know what I'm going to be living in this summer. It's very sheer (undies alert!) and I'll need to figure out a good way to wear it when I'm in more formal settings (i.e. the outside world) but whatever. What's wrong with seeing some undies anyways? Just pretend it's a swimsuit. See, not risque anymore. Anyways, bottom line: I'm sleeping in this skirt tonight because it is SO BEAUTIFUL.
My shirt is from Topshop, which is worth mentioning, but don't let it detract from the wonder that is this skirt. Unless if you want to consider that I found this shirt on the sale rack for a few pounds (in London), then it might just almost compare.
Little Girl loves the corner where I was taking these photos and she spent most of her time sitting in a cardboard box screeching at me. She has this scratchy old voice like she's been smoking for the past 40 years and her face always looks like she's smelt something foul. She's about the size and shape of a bowling ball and I absolutely cannot stand her. She's my third cat and I took her in this summer after she lived in my yard for a week and I fell in love with her. However, as soon as she got inside she became a bratty little princess and has spent the last 6 months beating up on my two male cats, Gogo and Peter. Gogo always has dried up blood all over his face (he doesn't have claws & can't defend himself from her) and he also got a nasty bladder infection from the stress of being constantly stalked and harassed. Poor little baby. See why I detest Little Girl so? But dammit, she's so soft. Like a fat screeching, squabbling mink coat that you just want to bury your face into.
Every time I see these photos, I'm like OH MY GAWD that skirt! And then I remember it's mine and am filled with glee.
Now that I've obsessed over this skirt (almost) to my heart's content, and explained some things about Little Girl, I can get into what's really on my mind: re-branding.
Over the past couple of years I've grown to hate my blog name. Urban Tease. It's something I came up with at the age of 15 - and it was something that explained my blog well. It was a teenager's blog, a teen who was exploring her style which was somewhere between being very "urban" and also very much a "tease". (It's less on the tease side these days though this skirt if obvs not a good example.) The past couple of years, I've found myself wanting to write about more than my clothes. And I have. I've given long feminist rants (I made an entire tag for my "soapbox" posts), I've reviewed books, I've interviewed my friends, I've discussed jobs, convictions, religion, family, quarter-life-crises (okay not yet, but it's coming, I swear). As I get closer to "adulthood", I find myself wanting to blog about even more: recipes, home decor, DIYs, professional clothes, working out, etc. but I feel like Urban Tease is no longer the right venue. I feel like I have outgrown Urban Tease in the 5 years that I've been writing it.
And I'm not ashamed of that or anything. In fact, this all feels very healthy. I've loved writing this blog and it's such a stress reliever to be able to get so much off my chest and have people read and respond in very genuine, caring ways. My last post, on religion, was scary to write. I was so nervous about receiving harsh backlash and losing followers, sponsors. But none of that happened. The responses I received were all full of grace and full of love. It made me feel so blessed, and gave me motivation to keep going and exploring new topics.
And so, I have a...I'm not sure...a suggestion...I almost feel like I'm asking permission for this. Maybe I am. Yes, I am. I'm asking permission. I would like to retire Urban Tease and begin writing about this new chapter of my life on a new blog. It would still have a lot of the same Urban Tease-y goodness (outfit posts, my outspoken, opinionated, foolish self) but I'd also like to expand it to so much more. I want to post about what's inspiring me. I want to write about new recipes I'm trying, my workout routine, finding a job. I want to detail moving into my future apartment (when I get a real job, fingers crossed), and talk about buying my first car and taking my subsequent first road trip in that car. There are all of these new topics that I want to take on as I tackle adulthood, but I feel like Urban Tease is no longer the place for it. I look at this blog as a token of my teen years - of high school, of college - and I look at it with great happiness and much humility (and a bit of humiliation), but I feel like I've grown out of Urban Tease. It's bittersweet, but fills me with pride.
In the next few months, with your permission of course, I would like to launch a new blog about tackling adulthood. I don't have a name for it yet as I feel like it's not quite time to make that transition. Maybe I'll title it "Chloe Tackles Adulthood", as that seems most fitting to where I am in life right now. However, there would be no point in beginning a new blog if no one would read it, and so that's part of why I feel like I have to ask permission: Would you, as an individual and beloved, appreciated reader, transition with me to that new blog? And, furthermore, would you be interested in more posts, and more diverse posts? I'm not going to do it without the support of the readers that make my blog much of what it is.
I cannot believe that January is almost over. Tomorrow, my boyfriend gets home. He's been sick lately and spent the past month away, getting better. I've missed him loads - talking to him, seeing him, hanging out with him, doing everything with him. I've been talking to him a little bit in the past couple of weeks and he's already doing much better. I know that there'll be some time before he'll be in the same health as he was, but it will be good to have him back. I'm so lonesome without him - and all of my other friends. So many of them are studying abroad right now, or live too far away for me to visit. Minnesota is really miserable like that in the winter. You have no motivation to go out places to see friends. I'd so much rather stay in and watch movies with my cats, even if it doesn't quite fill that loneliness in me.
With January ending, I'm getting a little anxious about finding a job. My original goal was to have one set up by the second week in February. But, I'm reminding myself that everything will work out in the end. And now that I've gotten the idea of starting a new blog off of my chest, I can feel out the reception of that idea and hopefully start fresh on that project - a bigger, better blog depicting my foray into the endless joys of adulthood.
For now, that's all Little Girl and I have. PBS is airing Some Like It Hot so I'm off to cuddle down with some good snacks and watch the timeless humor of Billy Wilder. Keep warm and please give me feedback about my big new idea xx
2014 has been weird. I spent New Year's Eve home by myself, eating salami and watching Alice in Wonderland, When Harry Met Sally, and Friends. All the parties I was asked out to were with guys who want to date me. My boyfriend is still sick and is getting treatment right now. My best friend is back studying in Glasgow, though we were Facebook-ing all evening so it wasn't quite as lonely. My cat was home with me, so he and I spent the evening on the couch, cuddling.
I enter 2014 with caution. I'm without my two best friends. It's too cold out to go anywhere (the high for Monday is -16F and the office I work at closed down - IT'S THAT COLD). I spent all of New Year's Day cleaning and moving my fish tank to a place where I could sit and watch my fish better. I woke up the next day to find both of my fish belly up and dead.
My boyfriend had helped me pick out Seymour & Baby after my dog died in March. Jesse and I spent the whole day setting up the tank and positioning all the plants and such just right. And we spent like an hour at the pet store with me pressing my face up against all the tanks and carefully selecting which goldfish I wanted to take home with me. I could barely contain my excitement when we got home and we were able to let them loose into the tank.
I'm getting new fish tomorrow. I have the tank all set up and ready, so why not? When I got Baby & Seymour, they were supposed to help me get over Moses. And now I'll be getting two more fish to help me get over my other fish. It's weird. Baby & Seymour belonged to both Jesse and I, and now these fish will only be my own. I hope that this isn't how 2014 will be.
I took these photos today. I've been thinking back to a post that I did at the beginning of 2013 when I was feeling very melancholy. I decided to re-visit that same spot, since I was feeling very much like that same person.
I'm wearing my favourite shirt - one that I've been wearing pretty much since I started this blog back in '08. It's my safety shirt. And these socks remind me of this cabin up north that my family used to rent every autumn. We'd spend a weekend tramping around through the fallen leaves in our Doc Martens, rock climbing across the cliffs of Lake Superior, watching ships cross in the sunset.... They're warm memories attached to warm clothes.
These overalls are new. Although I'm totally into the '90s revival loose overalls, I found these ones in the sale section of ModCloth and decided to go for it because they're all cute and '50s. They're super cozy and kind of like wearing pajamas around - but not in a way where you feel all sloppy and dirty.
I spent today doing nothing. Well, I did some pilates in the morning (I just got an exercise ball and am SO PUMPED), but since then I've been on the couch watching Friends. My best friend left me the entire series on DVD before she left for Glasgow in September, and so I've been watching them all through.
I've also been applying for jobs but not many have stood out to me. I think only two - one of a local non-profit and one for a Minneapolis-based PR agency - have really caught my attention. I was going to apply for an advertising sales job at a publisher that I thought I'd be a shoe (shoo?) in for, but then decided that it wasn't the direction that I want my career to go. (When I told my mom this, she said, "Yeah, I knew a guy who took an advertising sales job at a magazine and then he died suddenly, 5 months later!") I'm under-qualified for every job I'm applying for, but you have to start somewhere, and hopefully someone will take a chance on me! And not be too struck down by my horrid cover letters.
I didn't create any resolutions for the New Year. Does that sound bad? It's not like I think I'm perfect or don't have things about myself that I need to work on improving. I just feel like 2014 is holding so much in store for me, that I need to accomplish those tasks first, and then from there I can figure out how I need to improve. Like I said, this is the year of my first real job, my first very own apartment, hopefully my first very own dog and my first car, too. That's a lot of stuff in itself.
And some things that I feel like I need to "work on", I'm not even sure if they're bad. I was thinking something like....not being so emotionally invested in everything. But is that so bad? Is it bad that I find passion for almost everything I do, all the people I know, everything I say and believe? It backfires some times, but it also makes me fiercely loyal and wholeheartedly compassionate.
I could try getting out more and making new friends - or simply keeping in better touch with my old ones - but I like having my two best friends and others who I check in on regularly, even if I don't do a lot with them. I like staying in and watching movies and being by myself. It's not such a bad thing. I'm social, just only to a certain degree.
In the past few years I've taken huge strides to be more organized, more independent, more dependable, more outgoing. I now consider myself very much all of these things. I consider myself a go-getter, a self-starter, never words that I ever thought I would use to describe myself. I think I'm very happy with how I am right now, and need to make these other major life adjustments before I decide what qualities I need to work on in order to succeed in my new life.
My best friend sent me Cadbury chocolate in the mail today. They make it so much better in the UK! My British auntie sends it over in every care package - I love the popcorn toffee one, and the new Bubbly kind - YUM! I think I'll spend my evening snacking on that and watching Friends. I've been feeling very emotionally spent lately and just need a few days of doing nothing before I can get back into everything. Here's hoping that 2014 brings many great things, and maybe starts looking up some! Stay warm out there, especially to all my Minnesotan friends xx
After Christmas is always such a weird time. It's like this in-between, let down period of time where everything is very surreal. The Christmas tree is still up, along with all the other decorations, but the day you've been waiting for is over. All of the parties and festivities and special Christmas exhibits at the museums are finishing up. People will have lights on their houses until April when it finally gets warm enough to take them down. All the ugly Christmas sweaters at thrift stores and vintage stores are put back into storage. Window displays of Santas are taken down. All of this pent up excitement and anticipation just kind of combusts into nothing. It's such a weird feeling. I don't really remember it as a child. Perhaps Christmas day was more fulfilling when I was younger - a day of endless sweets, fattening food, and piles of bows and wrapping paper. These days, Christmas day is hardly exciting. I prefer advent, and Christmas Eve is probably the most exciting part of the season. So when you are no longer counting down to anything, and when Christmas Day lacks the grandeur that it once did, the whole thing finishes in, well, nothing.
That being said, Christmas wasn't bad. There were my usual favourite dishes, like cheesy potatoes. I made fudge - and this time included peppermint marshmallows. I watched It's a Wonderful Life (my favourite Christmas movie). I gave presents and received presents - and they were all good. My dad gave me a lava lamp and a tea infuser. My mom gave me snowman socks and some bath salts (like the kind you put in a tub, not the synthetic drug - what kind of people do you think my parents are?). It was a good day. I was surrounded by my usual, small family. This year, my sister was missing because she moved across country, as well as my boyfriend because he's been very sick for the past few months. But even so, it didn't really feel like anyone was missing. Christmas day just wasn't magical like I always remember it to be as a child. Instead, the leading up to Christmas is magical, something that wasn't when I was younger. It's a trade-off. It's a trade-off with an unsettling ending.
I'm transitioning back into my work wardrobe. After a couple of weeks of wearing old jeans and sweaters and my Doc Martens, I'll be heading back to my internship. I've been trying to wear dresses and proper boots and carry my briefcase and things like that - things that a young professional would do. Today I wore this dress that an old friend's mom gave me. It's from Forever 21, where I wouldn't normally shop (overwhelming!), but it's very beautiful and has a very nice fit. I'm not much for florals, but it's professional. It's like, you know, young hip creative professional. Not stodgy old boring professional. I wear this all the time with my cardigan from The Loft (well, from the second hand store, technically), but I'm thinking I might put a blazer with it and see how that dresses it up more.
p.s. These boots have pretty much been my best friend this winter.
My day today was supposed to be spent tailoring my resume, writing cover letters, following up on jobs I've already applied for. It's surreal to think that I'm graduated and have no more homework, but trying to find a job is possibly even worse than homework. My entire future hangs on this, rather than just some grade that might affect my overall grade, which may affect my haggard and hopeless GPA.
I wish that I could go to all of these potential employers and just talk to them. I don't want a sheet of paper to represent me. It's hard to express my enthusiasm for a job without sounding fake. I worry that my lack of experience will overshadow any enthusiasm I might have - enthusiasm which they won't really capture unless they call me in for an interview, an interview that I probably won't even get based upon my experience. I've been reading so many self-help books and columns and chapters about how to get a job, but none of them are curbing my anxiety. And, furthermore, I don't even want to sit down and pound out cover letter after cover letter because they all sound so inauthentic and strange.
Obviously I am going to need to go to the coffee shop, get a chai, sit down, and make myself do them. I need cover-letter-writing discipline.
I'm off to bed before a long day of work tomorrow, and then play with my best friend! She's back from studying in Glasgow, but only for a few days before heading back - and boy, I've missed her! My best friend since the age of 4, and the person who knows me better than anyone else. It'll feel like home at last. Keep warm, my friends xx
I had my last class (EVER) on Wednesday, graduated on Thursday, had my last day at one of my internships on Friday, went to the Minnesota RollerGirls bout on Saturday, spent Sunday working on two finals, and completed my FINAL final on Monday night! Phew! I had a short day at work today and now am off till Christmas. And obviously I have loads to do!
Today my boyfriend and I spent the afternoon at the American Swedish Institute for their Jul to the World Christmas exhibit. It was totally lovely and absolute fun. We have loads more Christmas plans including a Christmas tour of the Alexander Ramsey House, carols and a tour at the James J. Hill House, and A Christmas Story at Riverview Theater (only $1 if you bring a non-perishable food item for Minnehaha Food Shelf). If you live in the Twin Cities, make sure you schedule some time to get out and have some (inexpensive) Christmas fun on the town! The boyfriend and I will also be staying in to make candles, decorate a gingerbread house, and trim the tree. This time of year is so wonderful, and such a relief that I now am a college grad and have nothing to worry about (except finding a job).
I wore this outfit to go to the roller derby on Saturday night. After a few weeks of subzero temperatures, it's finally warmed up to the upper teens even the twenties! It's absolutely fab. I celebrated by showing some leg. I'm wearing a faux leather dress from SwayChic which I obviously wear ALL THE TIME. This is definitely one of the best purchases I've made in a long time. I belted it with a faux leather belt off of some Nasty Gal shorts I bought and which were not such a great purchasing choice. But oh well, it happens.
I layered the dress with my fave Eddie Bauer turtleneck. I love that this dress works for all seasons and can easily be worn with a massive chunky sweater, or with a tiny little crop top. I got all matchy-matchy with the socks and doubled up on them. This is definitely the time of year when multiple layers of socks are necessary. I don't even remember the last time I left the house with at least two pairs + tights.
This jacket is absolutely the best! Land's End has some sizing issues (aka an XXS petite dress was MASSIVE on me), but this coat is super cozy. I'm not even cold when I wear it, minus exposed limbs such as my knees.
That's all I've got for today. Don't forget to enter the Rosegal giveaway - it ends Christmas Eve! I have loads of exciting things coming up for the blog and I cannot wait to get to them. For tonight, however, I'm finishing up with sewing my Christmas dress! Stay warm and spread some cheer xx
Well, I took these photos yesterday afternoon before class, dressed completely wrong for the weather and trying to combat the wind while wearing a short skirt. (And while having long hair -what a nuisance!) There haven't been many mild weather days lately, so I thought I should grab my chance while there was one, and wear a skirt. When I say mild, I actually mean about 34°F but hey, you take what you can get. Today it started off raining, then quickly turned to hale, and now we have a few inches of snow on the ground. The hale was the worst, though. I was walking across campus and having these sharp little pieces of ice cutting my cheeks up. It stung so badly. Spring! You evil, evil creature, you...
So anyways, yesterday. I had forgotten about this skirt I found in the kid's section of Zara, so I decided to whip it out again. The Star Wars tee seemed like a must and the rest sort of fell into place after that. I was warm and cozy on top, at the very least. When I got to campus, my geology lab had this awful activity where we had to stomp around campus examining the outside of buildings. It was horrid and I felt like a little college kid icicle by the time we finished. An icicle clad in fuzzy sweater and saddle shoes, that is.
I found this tee shirt last summer in the $5 rack of the little boy's section at Target. It was a few days before I was going to Guatemala so I was on the hunt for cheap clothes that I could bang up. I had just (stupidly) rid my closet of cheap tees, so I decided to go for it. It's sooo cool though, huh? Every time I wear it, I want to have a Star Wars marathon. I have not seen those movies since early high school. Shhhhhhh.
In fact, the leopard print sweater, yummy turquoise socks, and stockings are also from Target. I am just reppin' Target with this outfit, obviously.
Sorry for all the repetitive photos. I took a gazillion because I was absolutely convinced that none of them were coming out thanks to the awful weather and perpetual scowl on my face. As it turns out, every single one of them turned out fine (or as fine as my face can get - ha!). I was also trying out a new hair style since my hair has been real flat lately. I switched up the part and went to bed, and when I woke up it looked like this rat's nest you see here. I'm also attempting to grow out the bangs so, yeah, that's another thing I now have to contend with.
Anyways, since I'm super egotistical this entire post had ended up being about me. Oh, and the weather, I guess. Which is ridiculous, and pretty boring. I feel like the American news has been so devastating lately, I just need to be not serious about things for a bit. Not to mention the horrid weather and impending finals. I got into some stupid debate (on Facebook, dammit!) about why Obama shouldn't have to prove he's American-born and why the entire outrage over his birthplace is clearly linked to his race, and now I'm in a rotten mood over it. Politics doesn't usually put me in a bad place, but I hate when opponents of Obama say that his race has nothing to do with why they think he's uneducated and unfit to run this country. Pleeeaaase. A post-racial America is an ignorant America. Okay, now I'm soapboxing and scaring everyone away. Let's just keep talking about me.
So, for some reason I finally got around to making the blog as Twitter account. Follow here! I have no idea how Twitter works, or what the purpose of it even is, but I was long overdue on jumping on the bandwagon. We'll see how this goes!
Okay, well I'm off to be a student and do student-y stuff. Keep warm and keep hoping for springtime, friends! xx
Today I put in my two weeks notice at my job. I've been at the same place for more than three years, working the same department with the same people for more than two and a half. It's such a bittersweet thing. I feel like I've gone through a lot in the past few years, and my workplace (and coworkers) have helped me grow up. I have my little work family, and it makes me so sad to think about leaving them. It'll be weird not going in there anymore, putting on my name tag, punching in, and walking into work with all the same people, all the same faces.
I don't have another job set up, or anything in mind, even. It seems silly, but it's time to cut that umbilical cord. My job is so convenient, I'm so comfortable there. It's easy and safe, I know everything and I know everyone. I spent a lot of time in church during lent reflecting on my life and why I'm so unhappy lately. It's because I feel stuck, but I'm too afraid to make any changes. I mostly just sit around wishing that my workplace would blow up and I would be offered some amazing new job. Psh. So, instead, I'm going to take a leap and do what feels scary and wrong. I only have one more semester of school left and so I need to take chances and do what inspires me most (whatever that ends up being). So as of May 10th, my final day at work, I will be going forth and trying something new, meeting new people, learning new things. I'm half excited, half scared out of my mind.
I don't remember the last time I took a major chance - probably when I first started at my job. More than three years ago when I signed on for that new job, I remember being scared out of my mind. I was in a really bad place, with a really bad person, and I didn't know anything about the world. My job introduced me to a new self and helped me get outside this creepy little bubble I'd been stuck in for years. It's difficult for me to not think about the little girl who went in there, and to reflect on who I am now - and to feel proud. And in part, in debt to everyone who works there. I'm trying to remember that and not be scared about what comes next. Because if being introduced to "the real world" changed me so much from age 16 to 19, I can only imagine what my next opportunity will teach me. And that's pretty exciting. I'm just trying to keep my head up about it and remember that I have Paris ahead of me, I have a summer class ahead of me, I have a terrific boyfriend, I have a weirdo cat and great parents - and everything will be alright no matter if I have my old job (and work family) or not.
More than anything, I want to move out from my parents' house and be more independent. I want to intern at a "battered women's shelter" (I really hate that term) and start doing what inspires and empowers me, instead of having lofty dreams about it. My job has distracted me from actually applying myself to what I want to do. It's time for no more of that. I've dreamt of making a change for too long, and now it's time to start making changes. Hopefully not only in my own life, but in the lives of others.
I started my communications major not really sure what I wanted to do. Fashion public relations, I thought. Then fashion seemed too impractical in Minnesota, so I decided just simply public relations. But I wanted to do public relations for something that mattered. I want to help women like me and who have been in experiences similar to mine. I want to educate the public about rape, sex, and consent. I want to talk with politicians about funding for shelters, better public awareness, and better sex ed in our schools. I feel like this is really what I was called to do, and it's time to start doing it before I get sucked into something corporate like I've been doing for three years.
I was reading an article (at work) the other day about how to create fulfilling work experiences for employees. One of the recommendations was to give value to their work - not monetary value, but value as if what you're doing has an impact bigger than yourself. My job has started to have little positive impact on myself, and I'm still not convinced that it's ever had much positive impact on the public aside from making the day of a family or two here and there. It's difficult to do unfulfilling work for three plus years. It's no wonder I'm snarky and self destructive these days.
So now, I go forth keeping my head high and a smile on my face. I'm hopeful and I'm starting to have one of those "the world is my oyster" moments once again. It feels weird...I haven't felt like that in a long long time.
So, remember not all that long ago when I was crying my little eyes out over not having any snow? Yeah? Okay, well, it can go now. Just a few days ago, I was walking down the street, thinking to myself how lovely it was to have the sidewalks clean of ice and snow, and only a few snow banks here and there. And now, snow everywhere. It's been snowing for a few days now and doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Rats!
But, since I had a couple hours free today, I decided to go outside for some photos. This is actually the outfit that I wore for Easter (when it was warm and sunny out), but I liked it well enough to make a point of blogging it. It's been eons since a good old outfit post, hasn't it been?
I didn't know what to wear for Easter because I have worn every dress and skirt I own to church at least three or four times each. Admittedly, I wore this skirt for Easter a couple of years ago but oh well - who would even remember that? It's not like God smote me upon entering church in an already-Easter-worn skirt. I bought this a few years ago at Go Vintage as a sale piece, intending to hem it. Then I got lazy and decided that a midi skirt wasn't so bad after all. Even though I am only 5 foot tall.
Since I'm not much for pretty flowers and shit, I decided to wear this tee shirt courtesy of GUESS. I thought the grunge-y skull would juxtapose nicely, plus the shirt is super soft and silky, so it hangs beautifully. When my boyfriend and I walked in, my mum looked at him and said, "Oh my! Don't you look nice!" and then she looked at me and didn't say anything. When I provoked her into commenting, all she could say was, "Well you're going to church wearing a skull on your tee shirt." I don't think God is afraid of a few skulls and bones, mum, but whatever. I didn't change.
Why have skulls gotten such bad rap anyways? We're all made of bones and we're all gonna die and be nothing but bones. It's nature. Wearing a shirt with a skull on it is barely different than wearing a shirt with a tree on it. Plus, the skull on my tee shirt is composed of little flowers and leaves, so it is especially beautiful. I think it says something nice about the circle of life. (I doubt that GUESS expected little girls to be reading so much into their shirts.)
And here's a nice shot of me testing the focus, holding my camera bag moodily.
I'm sorry about the recent delay in blogging. School has been non stop hectic, but I think I'm finally catching a bit of a break. I have most of my senior paper written, and I chose the topic of my other major term paper. Everything is starting to slow down and I've actually been able to stop and breathe for a bit. I called out of work today because I wasn't quite feeling myself. Time to snuggle down and watch Cary Grant movies!
Thanks to all who've stuck with me the past few months. I appreciate the kind words which I have received...2013 has been rough on me so far, especially with losing Moses, and it's been tough to keep moving, much less write a blog. I think that summer (and studying in Paris for a month) will rejuvenate me some, and I'll be back to blogging consistently. But for now, I just wanted to say thank you - to everyone.
Also, stop by the blog's Facebook page to see an outtake from today's shoot. xx
So...yeah. I know it's been an unexcusably long time since I've updated but, I'm gonna try with an excuse anyways: it's midterms and the entire Twin Cities is densely covered with ice and horrible cold. Okay, well not at the moment. At this very moment, everything is slush and the sun is wonderful. But this is the first time it's been as such in a while. So..my excuse is still viable.
Last week I mentioned getting a new pair of purple bell bottoms and the baddest-ass leather jacket in the world. Well, here are both! I'm been in some weird '70s mood lately. It might not help that I've been listening almost entirely to Cat Stevens and The Grateful Dead, but it certainly does not help any further that we watching a movie in class today called Cinema Verite which is all about the making of An American Family. I swear, take a reality TV class and that production will be brought up a million and two times. It's inevitable. And also really good.
So anyways, because of all this, I've wanted nothing but to lounge in bell bottoms for the past couple of weeks - at least. The bell bottoms are from one of my favourite local shops, Up Six, and the jacket is from one of my other favourite (but now closing!) shops, Go Vintage. I've been eyeing it for a while now and finally went for it. And got it 75% off because of the closing sale. Bittersweet.
So as I mentioned, besides the amount of ice in the driveway (seriously a danger zone! I nearly wiped out at least 5 times while taking these photos), I haven't been around much because of midterms. University is seriously kicking my butt this semester (I say that every semester, mind you). All I do is read, read, read, synthesise, synthesise, synthesise, discuss, discuss, discuss, repeat, repeat, repeat. It's dreadful and I always seem to forget that over breaks between semesters.
It's also been rough losing Mosey-Mo. It's weird not to have your everyday, closest companion around. I still go to say good morning to him every day before breakfast. And just today I was thinking about how I'd get home to find him soaking up the gorgeous sun on the back deck. It's tough. The adjustment is tough. Knowing that he will never, ever be back is tough. As a remedy for my loneliness and lack of an animal companion to talk to, my boyfriend said that he'd take me to get some fish over spring break. I know what you may be thinking - "But Chloe, silly little girl, a pet fish can never ever ever come close to a sweet, cuddly, soft pug pup like Moses!" And I know, I know.
But I'm seriously a dork for fish-y friends.
Anyways, I need to get going. Actually, I don't need to. I don't need to at all! I could stay here forever just writing my thoughts and sweet things to each and every one of you. However, my spring break starts NOW and I'm treating myself by playing The Sims 3. I only play The Sims for about 6 hours every year because I secretly don't actually like it, but I get it in my head that I do and it'll be a great way to chill out and forget "the real world." But then I get pissed off over how boring and repetitive it is and tend to sulk. So that's what I will be doing for the next hour or so.
So now I really am going. Sorry for the short(ish) post, but there's one more photo (a great shot of my ass, but you didn't hear that from me!) over at the Official Urban Tease Facebook Page. Stay sweet, my friends xx
Thank you everyone for your sweet words upon the death of my baby puppy Moses. It's been tough and it would be a lie if I said that I didn't spend most of Thursday/Friday/Saturday in tears and unable to breath from the pain of losing my best friend of nearly 10 years. I think it's impossible to put words to how much Momo meant to me and even after my last post about the little guy, I feel like I hardly did our relationship justice. On the brightside, my family has been really great about talking about our life with Moses and my boyfriend has barely left my side. I've been able to move on from being horribly sad and broken about the loss of my pup, to being able to look at photos of him and think of all the great times I've had with him since he was a puppy. I truly am lucky to have had such a great companion for the past 10 years.
These photos are actually from Wednesday. As I prepared this post, I couldn't help but realise that these are the last photos that I took where Moses was keeping an eye on me. Although he doesn't always appear in my blog photos, he always made sure that he went out with me when I took them. He'd sit on his tie out in the backyard and keep an eye on me. If it was raining hard or too cold (these past few months, he hadn't much fur left), then he'd insist that I left the door open so that he could sit inside and watch me. It was important for Moses to always keep an eye on me when he could. He was the sweetest, softest little guy in the world.
When I went out to take these photos before class on Wednesday, Moses sat inside the door and watched.
I bought these leggings from Romwe a few weeks ago. I always feel like I'm destroying the planet or something when I buy from Romwe, which is why it blows that they have totally cute and inexpensive leggings. Leggings are one of those things that I don't want to spend loads of money on, so I'm almost forced to buy from Romwe even though I'm sure their stuff is totally unethical and I should be supporting local businesses, etc. I'd been wanting some nebula-print leggings for a while and this new boyfriend of mine is obsessed with the galaxy, so I bought them, in part, for him. He's addicted to them and pretty much falls on the floor in ecstasy everytime I put them on. My boyfriend is also a total science and math geek.
On Wednesday night I got out of class early (because I had a midterm, ugh!), so I went over to the math building on campus to wait for boyfriend's math class to finish up. While sitting in the hallway "studying" for geology, a boy (who'd been previously wandering the hallway) came out and asked me what I was studying, etc. He then asked me to come "study" with his friend and him, physics and astronomy majors, respectively. I declined. Turns out, these boys were not studying at all, but rather playing Magic. Boyfriend sees them every night. I don't think I'd ever been so excited to be (attempted to be) picked up before in my life. If it wasn't for boyfriend, I probably would've gone with them. Ho hum. (If it wasn't for boyfriend, I'd never have even stepped foot inside the math building, mind you.)
In addition to my boy-catching nebula print leggings, I'm wearing a sweater from the Gap, my go-to Doc Martens, and a vest from Tunnel Vision. Oh, and jacket from UO.
I realise how unhappy I look in these photos - and just lately, in general. Taking care of Moses and seeing him in such decline the past month or two has really taken an emotional toll on me, not to mention all my schoolwork and my workwork. Luckily, all that stands between me & spring break is three midterms (two tests, one paper) and a quiz. Then I will have some time to relax and write my term papers. Yippee.
My friend Tyler and I went out shopping yesterday and managed to accidentally stumble upon some major sales. I definitely look forward to showing off some of those purchases including purple bell bottoms and the baddest ass leather jacket in the world. In the meantime, friends, take care and keep loving. xx
